Basically, I need to sleep for 8 hours to charge my energy fully. However, you cannot take a full charge everyday because you are somehow busy. You must be busy to cook, take a bath, watch movies, read books, and be lazy. Without laziness, I think I would be dead. Sometimes I feel we need space in our lives like a margin of a book. You cannot live completely the same schedule because you are not a robot like a Roomba. As for me, I sleep for 7 on Monday, 6 on Tuesday, 8 on Wednesday… or like that. I cannot make my sleeping hours stable because I have a lot of thing to enjoy in a night.
Sometimes, I want to watch a movie, read a book, talk with a friend over the phone. I want to accept this me. But, at the same time, I found myself a bit less performative when I have 6 hours sleeping time. Just 2 hours makes a huge difference to my performance. My brain feels a bit tighten. I tend to forget tiny things. And I tend to get upset easily. These things exactly means that I lost a certain space in my brain. And unfortunately, you cannot recover the dullness by a day’s 8 hours sleeping. That is really tricky. Once you felt lack sleep, you tend to have it for 2 to 3 days. Oh my.
Anyhow, I need to deal with this. I should keep living up. Tomorrow is Friday. Friday makes everything brighter. The only time do you see the goal, you can try your best sometimes. So, I want to make the most of it tomorrow even I feel a bit of sleep deprivation. If I could do my work more faster and more efficiently.
The Japanese school year begins from April, and that makes teachers extremely busy because there are thing you need to start from zero base. We try to make previous things better in every year, so I am also trying to do many new things. However, at the same time, you realize that you are spending too much time, and felt having lesser room in my mind. Or, I think I have a low capacity. I am always wishing that I could do anything that I wanted to do, but in reality, sometimes you find yourself too tired to do some new things.
My greatest mentor Tatsuru Uchida (a philosopher) once mentioned about mental health in his book, and he wrote there seems two signs that can prove you’re in good health. 1st is you find eatings yummy. 2nd is you feel you want to start new things. 3rd is that you feel like to write to somebody. And I absolutely agree with his idea.
Not only in Japan, but also in many other countries, this season is the turning point of a season, like winter to spring. Our bodies and mental must have been somehow affected by this seasonal changing unconsciously. Especially here in Hokkaido (the northern part of Japan), the temperature is like 17C yesterday, and 3C today, and tomorrow 15C,… You know, like a bitcoin chart or rollercoaster ride.
Spring is the loveliest season of all time for the most of Japanese, but at the same time, people are easily got tired or disappointed experiencing new fields or seasons’ difference. The changing of the environment is somehow tiring.
Then, what should I think like? I believe that I should think like do anything with just step by step. You cannot achieve anything immediately, but just gradually. Like a snail or a turtle. You are you.